 | How do vampire football players get the mud off? They all get in the bat-tub. |  |
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| Which villains steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks. | |
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| Boy: Dad, dad, there's a spider in the bath. Dad: What's wrong with that? You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water! | |
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| Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for medicine. | |
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| The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him, "Will it be alright if I have a bath while you're having your lunch?" "It's okay with me lady," said the plumber, "as long as you don't splash my sandwiches." | |
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| Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails. | |
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| Dr Frankenstein: I've just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off? Igor: Yes, I hate it. Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again! I've invented the square tub . . . | |
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| Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in? The plumber said, "Would you like a plug for it?" The idiot replied, "Oh, I didn't know it was electric." | |
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| Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please? Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash yourself. | |
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| Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I'll run the bath then. Mom: Why? Joe: Because on the bottle it says "to be taken in water." | |
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| Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not. | |
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| Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning. Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor. Doctor: You do? Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water! | |
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| Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm sixty-five? | |
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| Why did the bank robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway. | |
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| Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom. | |
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