Laughing Acres - Your Humor Portal!

	What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

	Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !

	What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ? Thanks, I'll never part with it !

	Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both of them !

	What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ? A pineapple !

	What do you give a train driver for Christmas ? Platform shoes !

	What happens to you at Christmas ? Yule be happy !

	Can I have a broken drum for Christmas? The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it!

	What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ? Santa Clues !

	Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck !

	What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ? Santapplause !

	Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ? Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

	Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ? Because they both have "Sandy claws" !

	What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ? Santa pause !

	What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels? Father Christmas on roller skates!

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