Jokes in the [ College ] category
 | An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be ten years from now?" "Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now." |  |
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| Teenage Driver: But, officer, I'm a college man. Policeman: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse. | |
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| Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces. | |
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| How do you know a Brigham Young student's been mowing the lawn? The welcome mat is destroyed. | |
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| What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? "Nowledge." | |
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| Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia. | |
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| Why don't Purdue athletes eat pickles? They can't get their heads in the jar. | |
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| What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape? A retarded ape. | |
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| Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket? Professor Yes, but I thought it was mine! | |
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| Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before? | |
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| "Professor, I hear your wife has had twins. Boys or girls?" "Well, I believe one is a girl and one is a boy but it may be the other way around." | |
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| Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs. | |
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| Did you hear about the Western Kentucky professor who kissed the door goodbye and slammed his wife as he went by? | |
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| And then there was the UCLA professor who opened up his vest, pulled out his tie and wet his pants. | |
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| How do you measure a Villanova graduate's I.Q.? With a tire gauge. | |
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